He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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