thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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