so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize