I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
