I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
