Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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