Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
