? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Randomize
