she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
