So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
