If that was your dad, he is hot
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
