Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
