Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
