is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize