Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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