they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
