Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize