Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
