you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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