Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
