Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
