I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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