i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize