YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
