Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
