apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So vagazzling was a success
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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