it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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