Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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