Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
