i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
