it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
