It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
what day is it and did you see me today?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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