Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
