He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
