We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
