so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
