what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
