watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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