I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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