I want to walk on stilts...naked
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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