So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
