i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
God I need to hump something, right now.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
