Sponge bath it is.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
