i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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