my mouth tastes like poor choices
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
there was a trapeze. enough said
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
