Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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