i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize