so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
