i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
if only i could text you this smell
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
