Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize