all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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