how can u be prego again
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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