you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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