I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
