Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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