He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
