I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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