Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
