the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I would ride that face into the sunset
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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