I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
